No 1

That nite I was listening to songs accompanied by Sneezies. If you do not know what is “Sneezies”, it’s a game in smart phone where we need to pop up them and let them spread the virus and let them all freed from the bubble.
While I listened to the music and play with the sneezies, my mind brought me back to the time where I’m still single. I used to spend a lot of time doing this. Lost in the song and the game. I enjoy it so much. Because I know that it’s a time for me to get focus to listen to Him.

He talked to me many times though this moment. Because that’s the most relax time that I have. I simply love this moment.

It was when I still single. So how about now? That’s the question that He asked me that nite. Am I too busy to have this moment?

I have to admit, since I attach I will spend most of the time chatting, talking with my pal, or even planning in my head. Plan on what things that we can do together, find a chance to share all my thought my feeling, my day. And it brings me to a place where I forgotten about my time with Him.

Happen that the song that I listen to is a song goes like this

Apa yang dapat memisahkanku

Dari kasihMu Tuhan.. Sahabatku

Kelaparankah.. ketelanjangankah

Tak satupun..Tak satupun..

Apa yang dapat memisahkanku

Dari kasihMu Tuhan... Sahabatku

Aniayahkah... Penderitaankah...

Tak satupun..Tak satupun..

Tiada satupun s'perti Kau Yesus

Kau sahabat yang sejati

Dalam bahaya Kau menggendongku

Engkau Yesus sahabatku

Apa yang dapat memisahkanku

Dari kasihMu Tuhan... Sahabatku

Sakit penyakit... Pencobaankah...

Tak satupun..Tak satupun..

Tiada satupun s'perti Kau Yesus

Kau sahabat yang sejati

Dalam bahaya Kau menggendongku

Engkau Yesus sahabatku

Well, I tried to digest this lyric. And I agree there is nothing that can separate us from His love. But I do withdraw myself from Him because of my substitute.

When I am single I can fell satisfy with Him alone. Now, I replace it with other. And finally I open up my heart to receive his rebuke that I put Him as a subsidiary. Its only when I feel that I need Him, when I do not have anyone else I will come to Him. But when I have someone else, I put Him aside.

Sad but true.

I am still in the middle of tune back my priority, my activity. But for this I made the decision that I need to return back to Him and learn to put Him as my No.1 in my life.

How?? Yup.. I still do not know how, but what I know right now that I need to really have a good talk with Him.

Love letter

I missed to received email from him. I found that I enjoy to get the greet through email when I wake up, I check my email and I found his email. At first I wanted to request him to send me email every morning, with all the things in his mind. but suddently My first person in life rebuked me and asked do u have the same desire to read my email to u every morning? do u long to listen to the word that i want to tell u?

With His help, I searched my heart and answer him that I dont think I have the same desire. Well i always declare that I am a word base people. where I enjoy to read card, bookmark with word for me. BTW, I do keep all the Christmast card, bday card, postcard, letter that people gave me even its from dont know year.
back to my conversation with him, I asked him to give me the same desire to read all His love letter to me. and help me to catch His heart. I want to put Him first in my life. He is the one since beginning, and I found He is inreplacable. 

Yup now im learning to put Him first in my life.

Love

Month of Feb is a month of Love. People will buy flower for their love one, will spend more time and money for their relationship. And I do not want to be left behind even though Im single but I want to listen and learn more about what is love all about. I decided to sign up for a devotional title "What is LOVE?".

Found this in bible apps called YouVersion. It is a simple yet powerful material to go bak to basic on LOVE itself. I finished the devotion this morning (20 Feb 2012).

Yes it is 20  16 (thanks to mel who corrected me) days devotional material. Its ended with a very familiar verse to all of us.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

The question to ponder to close this devotion is in which Love definition that i lack off?

At first and my immediate answer is love is not self seeking. It hits myself and my pride. Because most of the time, when we say love it will lead us into how we feel, what we demand from others. And it is to satisfy our emotion only. We want to be satisfied from the love itself.

Im tring to understand on loving God with not self seeking. Dont expect God to be our slave instead of our master by asking all our request and want it to be happen on the next day. I should learn to Love Him with no self seeking.

When i wrote this, 1 question jump up into my mind. Is this the way that we should love others also? Does it mean unconditonal love? I asked Him, do you mean that if i get hurt from someone that I love or I treasure then I need to apply this thing? Well some of us might know the answer already. It is YES!

Shoot! I really do not know if I can love like this.

Always trust???!!!! You mean it??
I mean how if I tried to trust them but they hurt me again??? should i trust them again???? I really have no confidence. But yeahh I know my confidence is in you.
Knowing that I might not go through it You give me hope, You give me a new strength and of course You give people surround me. 

By the time it happen, i believe that you will ready with your safety net to catch me and embrace me with your love.

His Favor

When I look back on my life journey, especially on last month when I tried to evaluate myself for new year resolution, I recalled back on how much blessing that I received.

There was a moment where I stole His glory. I found myself found a favour on people and I told myself I have the capability to win people heart.
Then I asked myself back, do I really have the capability to do that? if I have the capability but He is not with me, I dont think I can go through it. But if even I have no idea, no power, no strength to do something, by His grace I can go through it.
So I told myself it means not because I can, but because His favor is with me.

Last sunday, God reminded me again that it is by His favor. I went to Bethany Church singapore and Ps. Johan shared about Esther who win God's favor.
If I meditate on Esther book, it is true that Esther is beautiful but there are many beautiful girls compete with her to be the queen.  But when the king saw her, she had his favor upon her. Is it because of her ability to make her received the favor from the king? I dont think so. I believe that God's favor upon Esther, so whoever saw her found favor to her.
In another occasion was when the Jews were in danger. They are about to be wipe off by the order of the king's second man. King had approved the request to kill all Jews. And then Esther had compassion and burden over her people. So she fasted and prayed before meeting the king. I believe during fast and pray, she gained wisdom from God to be able to talk to the king. She found all the proof why king must respect the jews instead of killing them. And as the result we know that Esther once again found favor in king's eye. It is not by her might that she was able to save her people, but because of the divine authority from above.

Well, there is nothing that I can boast when I found favor in human eyes because I know that He gives favor on me first so people found favor in me.
But one thing that I can boast is to have a Father, God, Lord, Master like you. Who has everlasting love for me.

With His favor we will walk our journey till our destination

Greedy

Back in indonesia, I managed to finish 2 drama. "the concerto" and "miss ripley".

While i watched miss ripley, i really hate the main actress. I found her so greedy, i feel so irritated. My question: why they protagonist to be the main. This will be the first drama where people feel irritated with the player. I judge her action. And it make me have no mood to continue to watch the drama.

I stopped to watch the drama for a few days. Then i tried to analyze why i hate her. And if I try to be in her shoes, I might do the same as well. Then I decided to continue the drama. As I dwell into the emotion with the drama, I understand her feeling and situation. Especially in the end of the series, she found a good boyfriend but end up they cant be together.

I can see myself in her while she become greedy over her life. She wants to get the best for her but eventually she missed the best due to her greediness. 

Many times in life Pride and greed will lead us to miss the best for us. 

I also faced the same problem, right now I know that I am too prideful to admit my mistake, and too greedy also to say that what I have right now is not enough. I might miss the best but the problem is I am still have my prideful to admit and to torn down myself. 

can I just have a little bit of my pride???? Oh gosh........ will I really miss the best for me? 

BEST

Last week I attended my friend wedding with my friends back in KL. It was a great reunion though we dont have much time to share.

We decided to join the holy matrimony. I find it a bit different from the holy matrimony which I attended in my church. But I can say that I really enjoy the message that the pastor shared.

He reminded us to learn to be the BEST partner for our spouse. Many times when we look for a partner we want to get the best but we forget to be the best. It really brings me to a basic foundation of relationship. And yet we might get the best partner but we dont have the best marriage.

Well the simple yet powerful message which he shared to have the best marriage

B = Blessing

in our married life sometime we expect our spouse to bless us. We wait for them to bless us. But if we really want to have the BEST marriage we need to be the blessing for our spouse.

E = Edify (Encourage)

In marriage life, we need to edify one another to encourage one another. because when we did this we know that we learn to see the positive side of our spouse. when our spouse is in down moment, we will be there for them. Bring the best out of your spouse.

S = Sharing
In marriage life, learn to be open towards one another. share your life.

There was a recession during that time and Nathaniel Hawthorne was being retrench. When he was on the way back home he struggled whether want to tell his wife about his retrenchment. He scared that his wife might get angry to him and become frustration. But He remember that he need to open to his wife. So he decided to tell his wife.
And to his surprise, his wife was not getting angry and his wife suggest him to write a book, knowing that her husband can write well. Nathaniel reluctant to do it due to the living cost, who will cover it. His wife assure him that she has enough saving. From the monthly allowance which he gave to her, she managed to save and to cover them for 1 year.
So Nathaniel started to write a book and the book which he wrote call "Scarlet Letter" which later become booming and even go to Hollywood.
It started with his decision to open to his wife and his wife to edify and bless him, they succeed.

T = Touch

Touch your spouse's heart.
When you have touched your spouse heart you will really enjoy the relationship. it will bring again to the basic 3 above be a Blessing, Edify and Share your life then you will touch his/her heart.

Know what is the need of your spouse.

There is a story about a mother and also a wife. everyday in her activity is to take care of house and also the husband and sons. One day she felt sick but without failed she still doing her best to do her routine. She wants to be the blessing for her family. Her husband knows it so he said to his wife that he will bring their two sons to shopping centre for 2 hours. Where in this 2 hours the wife can take some sleep, a peaceful sleep. Well in that moment, is not gold or diamond that she needs, she needed time to take a good rest and her husband understand it.


In the end of his message he emphasizes that everything some from above. When a couple can meet and know each other its really God's plan. Let God stir man heart to find his half.

In the beginning of bible God created man will all the animals in the air, water and land. God's desire not to let the man to be alone, so he made a helper which suitable for adam.

Genesis 2:18-24
New International Version (NIV)

18 The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
19 Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals
But for Adam[a] no suitable helper was found. 21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs[b] and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib[c] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
23 The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.”
24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

When God brought Eve to Adam, Adam knows deep inside his heart that this is the one. 

In ESV version :

23 Then the man said,
“This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.”[e]

At last, he found the one that suitable for him. So for us who are still single, do believe that we will compatible towards one another. The woman will be a great helper to the man. As what eve did, she become a great helper for adam to rule over the earth. Everything will be beautiful in His timing

For the guys, do find your half ! Have a conviction that she is the one and in the end you will say at last I found her. :p 

Worry Free

Since last week of Dec, I wanted to write a post about worry. The message about worry is very strong in my mind. I have a lot of worry in my mind.

- worry of my parent health, business, who will accompany them
- worry of my career whether am I going to have a new job with a better environment
- worry of my future, who is my partner, will I be the only one left without a partner
- worry of my decision over certain thing, will I regret my decision
and many more.

If we want to list down all the worries that I have, I think it will take to pages of paper.

But after I think back all my worries, i have no conclusion on how to solve all the worries. it just add up my worries even worse. then a simple verse came to my mind

Mat 6:27-30

27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?

Well, its true that I cant give any solution by worrying. And while I learn about worry, I saw a lot of people surround me who live with full of worry. They may have all material with them but they have no peace in, they cant enjoy the life that their Creator gave.

I am not saying that in life we can ignore all the things and problem that we have in our life. Worry and ignorance its different thing. 

We can still worry about anything but we ignore the problem or person related to the circumstances that we are facing. 

Lets not being worry yet ignorance in our life, but bring our petition before the Lord. He will guide us to go through our life. 

Philipians 4:6-7

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Lets we enjoy our days in years ahead with Him. and do listen to His guidance. :) 

Do remind each other yo...