What does it mean by taking up the cross? Deny myself? How to do it? Why its so hard. Sometime I think its not me, why I have to do that. I cant do that. And I wont do that things. But when it comes about You, I cant reject it. I dun have any power to say I don want. I dunt have any right to say its not me and dun force me to do that.
Pride, you are there when He challenge me to follow His method not my method.
Myself, you do conscious whenever He asked to do the other way than we used to.
Self esteem, you are always alert whenever I felt I cant do that.
Tear, you always come whenever I feel powerless.
But God, You are always always there in whatever situation I face, in whatever mood I am, in anything I do, I face, I feel you always there wait for me to say I need You and I want You to help me.
i am speechless.
psalm : Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and <[WHY]> art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him [for] the help of his countenance.
