searching....

how do i describe it, hm.... maybe im quite loss in direction and loss the focus. in this couple of weeks i was ignored God's voice. i really do want to scream and cry out to God. im not good enough for Him to do His work. i become more egoist and self-centered. when i reflect back and God reminded me once agian about my situation, i realized that i was away from God. my pull my self away from Him. does it due to my unsatisfactorily? or is it just an excuse for me?

i believe that He know more that i do. He search my heart. He search my attitude. n He found my guilty. because im not obeying His word.

yes, it is very hard to follow His command when see it from our human perspective. but as we walk with God, He will give us the creativity and the way out so that we will still enjoy our walk with Him.

yes God i need more creativity to walk. i need more wisdom. i need your spirit to work within me. i am nothing without you. but many times i failed to please you and even i use my strength to solve the problem. i become more arrogant. which it lead me to the position where your spirit cant work within me.

God, strengthen my heart day by day. and give me courage and desire to go for the extra mile. give me your power.