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I need you more

Have u ever feel alone? Have u ever feel that nobody understand u? Or do u feel that u jealous over ur frens because they have someone to be rely on?

Recently i upgraded my iphone os to ios5 and it caused all my song list gone. I only have 4 songs in my iphone. And practically, i listen to these songs everyday and it has been repeated for many times.
There is particularly song from bethel "I need You more". I do love this song. But as i listen to this song many times, i asked God how much do i need God.

While i asked this question, God remind me on the feeling of being alone and lonely. Then He said as you feel this, means you need Me even more in your life. Because only Him that can satisfy my soul. He is the only one that i need to feel that emptiness. Not money, not wealth, not bf or gf, but Him alone. when before i dont feel lonely, i need Him, How much more when i feel lonely. I need Him even more.

So im learning to ask for more of Him each day in my life. :)

Open eye open heart

Recently in one of my facebook group share about character. Where the things what is seen not always real. But what is inside more matter. We cant just judge by the book. Well i totally agree with that.


But 1 question that i want to post:
"how to know what is inside if it always been keep inside? If it never come out how do you know the true? Or if what we see is true or not?"


In relationship, i believe that before i decided i must open eye big big and open ear. See and listen from other people. But when u had decided, time to close eye and ear. U have to take every single thing about your partner.

I actually struggle also to know and to judge which is right which is wrong. Because when u open ur eye and ur ear, there are a lot of noise, distrubance from surround us and make us confuse.
But i thanks God, all this while God not only brought me to see with my eye, but with my heart also.
There is a story in bible where Jesus met His disciple after he rose from the death. But His disciple cant recognise Him. After He spend the whole day with them then Jesus opened their eye, it doesnt mean that they are blind, they juat dont see Him with the eye of their heart. only when Jesus did that they were able to recognise Him.

It teaches me when i see a person, i need to open eye and open heart. When i see someone doing something, i cant jump into conclusion. But i need the wisdom and guidance from Holy Spirit.
But in the other hand as i posted a queation on how to know if we didnt see, it teaches me to learn to act right.

As in the paul said, i will show my love with action. In the other word, i will show u what is inside my heart with action, with something tht people can see with their physical eye.
We need to act our attitude. But once again people will only see it with their physical eye if we dont have heart in doing it. We can reach their heart when we communicate with heart.

So friends, remember that we need to build our character within because it will grow stronger but not to forget to act right. And before you judge people, open eye, open heart. :)

Destiny

Its been a while that I post in my blog. And thia moment, one question pop up in my mind is destiny. Where is my destination? Some people may tell me, dont you know where is your destiny?
Yes, i know my final destination that i will meet my creator. But how am i doing right now in a journey to my destination?
I was being reminded by a song by miley cyrus, "The Climb". It goes like this :

I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming, but
There's a voice inside my head saying
You'll never reach it
Every step I'm takin'
Every move I make
Feels lost with no direction,
My faith is shakin'
But I gotta keep tryin'
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down, but
No I'm not breaking
I may not know it, but
These are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most
I've just gotta keep goin', and
I gotta be strong
Just keep pushing on, cause

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side
It's the climb

Keep on movin'
Keep climbin'
Keep the faith baby
It's all about, it's all about
The climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, woah

If I interpret it the climb to life, I see it that its not about what i will achieve the most important. But how i am living my life.

So how am i living my life????

heart 

How's my heart now? I tot that i know the answer. But many time my heart deceive me. Like what Ps. Jo shared last sunday, many time we are deceived by our heart. Only God can show us our heart. So He encouraged u to keep continue to ask God to reveal our heart. Well we really do need holy spirit as guidance and wisdom.

Some people surround me might tell me what they observe about me and they can guess what inside my heart, but honestly speaking even i cant trust my heart. Im struggling to trust my heart on certain thing. I know that the level of my trust with my heart is not in a normal level. I need to work it out. And im working on it now.

Jia you yuli!!!

WOMAN

Recently, i posted a question to some of my girl friends. If they are in korean drama where there are 2 guys loves them. where the:
First guy : Perfect guy means has stability in financial, emotional, kind to her, sacrifice a lot for her and also love her very much. If you with him, you can rest assure that you will been taking care of.
Second guy : Normal guy means from the eye of people he still have no stability. He is nice and sacrifice a lot for her also but when you with him, you will have more complicated problem. the biggest thing that you consider about him that you enjoy with him. you really do feel that you have life.

and to my surprise or may be its normal, all the girl will follow as what the actress in korean drama chose. Guy no 2. if woman use their brain, they will choose no 1. because life will be easier. less problematic.
but God created woman with feeling. and sometime they willing to sacrifice themselves for something that they love. Woman feeling cant be trade with wealth. when woman choose you because of wealth, that for sure she dont have any feeling towards you.

so girls, who will you choose?
guys, if you are the first guy what will you do?

Under His wing

Recently or right way to say this morning i juat finished 1 project. Well this project is not a big project and i need to handle it myself. Start from arrangement, documentation, commisioning, testing, till BOM and punch list i need to do it by myself.
As i told u earlier, its not a big project so they expect this will be a simple thing. But not to forget this project is critical. Because if i cant do well, there is a probability that i will make plant upset. So i was so worried about all the preparation, all document, all hardware which needed. I was not confidence with myself.
I did the same job before and it dragged me more than 1 month to finish it. So in this project i scared and cast that things to happen.
In the first day i was supposed to assist the contractor to lay the cable. But customer didnt coordinate with contractor so end up we couldnt do it that day. I was so relieved. Because i was nervous to start. I returned back to office to prepare all the things which i found it missed.
Second day, laying up the cable plus mount the server in the rack. I had planned the task lists which i wanted to do that day. But it amazes me how smooth it is. And even i could do additional things which is download the project into the server and its successful. Still in amazed mode, third day i did the critical thing which is to break the network and extend it to the new server. After all the preparation had done, we break the connection. And it also went smooth. I did wonder and ask God how can this thing happen?
And i was reminded by the verse that i read the day before.

The Lord detests the sacrifice of the wicked,
but the prayer of the upright pleases him. (Proverbs 15:8 NIV)

As i prayed every morning to bring my downcast before Him, He hear me. And he gives me assurance that he is near and taking control over my life.

Thank you Father.